Sunday, January 27, 2008

കുന്നുംപുറത്തെ ദിവാകരന്‍റെ ഇംഗ്ലീഷ്‌

(കുന്നുംപുറത്തെ ദിവാകരന്‍ അമേരിക്കന്‍ കമ്പനിയിലെ ഫോര്‍മാനാണ്‌. സായിപ്പിന്‌ ഒത്താശ പാടുന്നവനായതു കൊണ്ട്‌ ദിവാകരനെ സായിപ്പിനിഷ്ടവുമാണ്‌. ദിവാകരന്‍ തന്‍റെ കമ്പനിയിലുള്ള മി. മൈക്കുമായി നടത്തിയ ലഘു സംഭാഷണം നമ്മുടെ വിജയകൃഷ്ണന്‍ കേട്ടപ്പോള്‍)

ദിവാകരന്‍ എന്നു സായിപ്പിന്‍റെ വായില്‍ കൊള്ളാത്തതുകൊണ്ട്‌ ദിവാകരനെ 'മി. കറണ്‍' എന്നാണ്‌ കമ്പനിയിലാകെ അറിയുന്നത്‌.

Mike: How are you KaRan?

Divakaran: Good Morning Sir (വണക്കം സാറേ)

Mike: What's up? You alright KaRan?

Divakaran: I good Sir (എനിക്കു സുഖം തന്നെ സാര്‍)

Mike: Is your family OK?

Divakaran: No Sir. My mother too much days hospital (ഇല്ല സാര്‍. എന്‍റെ അമ്മ കുറെ ദിവസമായി ആശുപത്രിയില്‍ ആണ്‌.)

Mike: What happened to her?

Divakaran: Me mother starting head rotate, and and food come out. Now three week hospital. Too much money need (തുടക്കത്തില്‍ തലകറക്കവും പിന്നെ ഛര്‍ദ്ദിലുമായിരുന്നു. ഇപ്പോള്‍ മൂന്നാഴ്ച്ചയായി ആശുപത്രിയില്‍ തന്നെയാ. ഒരുപാടു പൈസ വേണം.)

Mike: OK. How youre'all doing at work?

Divakaran: No good feeling. My Lead man no good (ഒരു സുഖവുമില്ല സാര്‍. എന്‍റെ ലീഡ്‌മാന്‍ നല്ലതല്ല.)

Mike: Why?

Divakaran: Yesterday big problem. He told too much bad word. (ഇന്നലെ വലിയ പ്രശ്നമായിരുന്നു. അങ്ങേരു എന്നെ ഒരുപാടു ചീത്ത വിളിച്ചു.)

Mike: Really?

Divakaran: He told to me mother fu.cker. Me, my place, this big bad word (എന്നെ അയാള്‍ ഇന്നലെ മദര്‍ഫക്കര്‍ എന്നു വിളിച്ചു. ഞങ്ങളുടെ നാട്ടില്‍ അതു വലിയ ചീത്തയാണ്‌)

Mike: Did he?

Divakaran: Yes, you know in me country, father fuck mother, mother no fuck nobody. I go complain manager (നിനക്കറിയാമോ, ഞങ്ങളുടെ നാട്ടില്‍ അച്ഛന്‍ മാത്രമേ അമ്മയെ അങ്ങനെ ചെയ്യൂ. ഞാന്‍ മാനേജരോട്‌ പരാതി കൊടുക്കാന്‍ പോവുകയാണ്‌)

Mike: Be cool KaRan. You will be alright!

Divakaran: You know, I work dust. No break work work work. He no like. (നിനക്കറിയാമോ, ഞാന്‍ പൊടിയിലാണ്‌ പണിയെടുക്കുന്നത്‌. ഒരു ബ്രേക്കുപോലും എടുക്കാതെ പണി തന്നെ പണി. എന്നിട്ടും അവനു പിടിക്കുന്നില്ല.)

Mike: Is he that bad?

Divakaran: He work AC. complete day AC. Not doing one work. I go compalint. see (അവന്‍ എ. സി. റൂമിലാ ഇരിക്കുന്നത്‌. മുഴുവന്‍ ദിവസവും എ. സി.യില്‍ തന്നെ. എന്നാലോ ഒറ്റപ്പണി ചെയ്യില്ല. ഞാന്‍ പരാതി കൊടുക്കാന്‍ പൊകുവാ നോക്കിക്കോ)

Mike: Dont worry KaRan. I will talk to that guy.

Divakaran: You no no talk him. I manager told already (വേണ്ട, വേണ്ട, നീ അവനോടൊന്നും ചോദിക്കേണ്ട. ഞാന്‍ മാനേജറോടു പറഞ്ഞു കഴിഞ്ഞു.)

Mike; Why did he yell at you anyway KaRan?

Divakaran: Yesterday brake time, me sleep come. Me sleeping, He come and bad words, bad words. No stop. (ഇന്നലെ ബ്രേക്കുസമയത്ത് എനിക്കുറക്കം വന്നു. ഞാനൊന്നുറങ്ങി. അന്നേരം അയാള്‍ വന്ന്‌ നിര്‍ത്താതെ ചീത്ത വിളിക്കാനും തുടങ്ങി.)

Mike: Americans are like that..dont worry about it KaRan.

Divakaran: He American, I Indian. I do all work. He boss making. He go play play. He no go womens back. I work work. but he complain me. (അവന്‍ അമേരിക്കക്കാരന്‍ ആണെങ്കില്‍ ഞാന്‍ ഇന്‍ഡ്യാക്കാരനാണ്‌. ഞാനാ ഇവിടുത്തെ എല്ലാ പണിയും ചെയ്യുന്നേ. അവന്‍ ചുമ്മാതെ കളിച്ചും കറങ്ങിയും നടക്കുകയാ. പെണ്ണുങ്ങളുടെ പിറകീന്നു മാറില്ല. ഞാനോ പണി തന്നെ പണി. എന്നിട്ടും അവന്‍ എന്നെ കുറ്റപ്പെടുത്തുന്നു.)

Mike: Leave it KaRan. So is your mother doing better now?

Divakaran: I home call Friday Friday. Me wife talking. Me wife, Me mother no see good. No talk good, I nothing do Sir (ഞാന്‍ എല്ലാ വെള്ളിയാഴ്ച തോറും വീട്ടില്‍ വിളിക്കാറുണ്ട്. എന്‍റെ ഭാര്യയോടും സംസാരിക്കാറുണ്ട്‌. എന്‍റെ ഭാര്യക്ക്‌ അമ്മയെ കണ്ടൂകൂടാ. അവര്‍ തമ്മില്‍ മിണ്ടില്ല. ഞാനെന്തോ ചെയ്യാനാ? )

Mike: Everything will be alright KaRan. Be cool Man.

ഈ സമയത്ത്‌ നമ്മുടെ വിജയകൃഷ്ണന്‍ കൈയില്‍ ഒരു പേപ്പറുമായി അവിടെയെത്തി

Mike: What is this Mr. Kr'sna?

Vijayakrishnan: Sir, shall I bring the document here that you need to sign?

Mike: What?

Vijayakrishnan: Sir, should I bring the paper work here that you need to sign prior to sending to Human Resources?

Mike: What? I don't understand you. You are from India too? Right?

Vijayakrishnan: Yes Sir.

Mike: Then why can't you be expressive like KaRan?

Vijayakrishnan: I was asking you, whether should I bring those papers here to sign?

Mike: Stop Kr'sna. I do not understand your way of talking. Why do you confuse me with this 'shall', 'could' and 'would' shits. Call Mr. KaRan to translate you for me.

പാവം വിജയകൃഷ്ണന്‍ കുന്നുംപുറത്ത് ദിവാകരനെ വിളിക്കാനായി നടന്നുപോയി.

26 comments:

SIVAKUMAR said...

ഗുരുജീ തറയാവല്ലേ... പ്ലീസ്‌

വയനാടന്‍ said...

ഗുരുജീ, കൊള്ളാം, വളരെ നന്നായിരിക്കുന്നു,
ഞങ്ങളുടെ അടുത്തും മി.കരണ്‍മാര്‍ ഉണ്ട്.
അവധി കഴിഞ്ഞു വന്ന ഫിലിപ്പിനൊയോട് ചോദിച്ചത് ഇങ്ങനെ: Hello…!!. Long time no see……

പ്രയാസി said...

കലക്കി ഗുരുജീ..

ഞാന്‍ കരണിന്റെ കൂടാ.. അല്ല പിന്നെ സായിപ്പുപയോഗിക്കാത്ത ഒരു വുഡും..! കുഡും..!

“കുന്നും പുറത്തെ ദിവാകരന്റെ ഇംഗ്ഗ്ലീഷ് കീ ജയ്..!“..:)

ശ്രീ said...

മുന്‍‌പ് മെയിലില്‍‌ വന്നിട്ടുണ്ട് ഈ സംഭവം.
:)

Sharu.... said...

നേരത്തെ കണ്ടിട്ടുണ്ട്...എങ്കിലും നന്നായി

Guruji said...

ഞാന്‍ ഒരു ഗൂഗിള്‍ ഗ്രൂപ്പില്‍ ഇതു നേരത്തെ പോസ്റ്റ് ചെയ്തതാണ്‌. ഇപ്പോള്‍ ബ്ലൊഗ് ആക്കിയെന്നു മാത്രം. സൃഷ്ടി എന്‍റേതു തന്നെ.

Manu said...

കൊള്ളം, നന്നായിരിക്കുന്നു. കഷ്ട്പ്പെട്ടു ഇംഗ്ലീഷ് പഠിച്ചതു വെറുതെ ആയിപ്പോയല്ലൊ.

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മലയാളി ആരാ മോന്‍????

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Winning the Game

The moment you figured out you won, you must immediately yell BINGO, and it should be loud enough for the floor walker to hear. The pot money shall be given to the winner once their winning card is confirmed. Well, in winning or once you know you just won, the most important thing is that you shout the winning word BEFORE the time elapses. If the game proceeds and the next number is mentioned and you failed to shout "Bingo", your winning card is disqualified. Therefore, this is the rule you must know.

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Bingo Game Rules

Bingo rules are basically the same no matter in which Online Bingo hall you play. But still it's good if you know these rules by heart. If it is your first try, then ask for handouts and inquire from pros regarding the game rules. Nonetheless, the ideal thing to do if you have questions is to ask the floor walker and not the person seated beside you. You should clarify things and doubts before the game starts because asking too many questions as the game proceeds could well distract you. This guideline also applies to those who are newcomers at casinos, those who play roulette for the first time.

Bingo halls demand an age limit of 18 years old. If you are below this age, you are prohibited to play. Some bingo houses ban alcohol inside, so players aren't supposed to take liquor nor drink it inside the venue. Smoking may also be restricted inside the venue, as there are designated smoking sections.

Take note that some Bingo houses don't allow food but some do, so it basically depends on the venue. Policies vary among different venues. For instance, some bingo halls allow reservation of cards, while others don't allow it. Some allow people to leave the venue in the middle of the game, others forbid it. But there are general policies observed in all bingo houses, such as disqualification of tampered bingo cards. There is no way you can get away with a tampered card because the walkers are adept at identifying authentic cards from tampered ones. You could be banned from a bingo establishment if proven liable of tampering a card. Hence, you should play honestly.

Interestingly, some venues offer special bingo games for kids although some halls don't allow players to have companions while playing. Suppose you bring kids with you, don't let them run around the venue and bother other gamers. They should behave well whilst you play and the game proceeds. Play quietly and don't recite the numbers you desperately want to come off because you'll be much of a disturbance if you do. Decorous playing is expectant of all players, even those who play roulette at casinos. Also, having a valid identification is important because you don't know you might win and need to present credentials.

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